we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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