Kiss
Puke
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
