So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
