Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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