Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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