i barfeds in our rink
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I could make wine with my vomit
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
