conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
