New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
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This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
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Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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