So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
