So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
