Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
