now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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