take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize