Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
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You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
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yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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