We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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