I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize