so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
