Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
