you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize