rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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