He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
