3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I need moral support for this bender
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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