he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
