bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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