Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
