at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
