so explain again why im purple
no
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize