remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
