WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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