Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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