No more Irish car bombs ever.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
