How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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