Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize