When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
