if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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