4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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