whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Randomize
