I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
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ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I have post one night stand depression
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