The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
