i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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