ADVERTISEMENT

• (208): View more from Idaho

  Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.

  Fav 20 4224 937

  share tweet
  

• (213): View more from California

  How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.

  Fav 15 4024 1127

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"

  Fav 54 1332 9405

  share tweet
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester

  Fav 20 5091 3031

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating

  Fav 7 2999 2645

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth

  Fav 38 5818 1950

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (605): View more from South Dakota

  This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.

  Fav 1 2734 1033

  share tweet
  

• (602): View more from Arizona

  Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?

  Fav 14 4226 929

  share tweet
  

• (786): View more from Florida

  the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...

  Fav 0 1323 794

  share tweet
  
• 

  These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (631): View more from New York

  He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.

  Fav 16 2856 1144

  share tweet
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.

  Fav 3 1068 576

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (949): View more from California

  Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.

  Fav 2 681 707

  share tweet
  

• (716): View more from New York

  I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.

  Fav 1 869 590

  share tweet
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.

  Fav 1 870 453

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (786): View more from Florida

  I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.

  Fav 0 337 409

  share tweet
  

Randomize