I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
