I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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