just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
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