I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize