I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Sober January is a disaster.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
