Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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