ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize