Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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