M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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