Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
