She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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