I cannot find my penis.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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