im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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