last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
