drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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